The series
Read them in order, or start where you are
Book 1 lays the foundation. Book 2 takes on the victim mentality, the victim clause, and the victim card. Both are available now. Book 3, coming soon, carries the same mechanics into work.
BOOK 1 · AVAILABLE NOW
Relational Mechanics
The book that starts it: why self-esteem fails under pressure and self-respect holds. Inside are Respect, Fear, and Absence; boundaries, standards and suggestions; the emotional piggy bank; Remorse, Regret, and Amends; and the natural law of relational survival, Adapt, Migrate, or Die.
Stop apologizing for setting boundaries. Stop asking for permission to live a peaceful life.
BOOK 2 · AVAILABLE NOW
We Love What We Value
Why the Victim Can’t, and How Self-Respect Ends It
Most of us think the opposite of love is hate. The real thief is quieter: the victim mentality, the habit of seeing each hurt as something done to us, and writing the excuse before anyone asks.
We Love What We Value picks up where Relational Mechanics left off. It shows why a person stuck in that mentality can’t value the people closest to them, how “life isn’t fair” turns into keeping score, and how the hurt gets handed down through families until someone decides to stop it. The core idea is simple: what we protect and defend is what we truly value.
Inside this book, you’ll learn:
- The victim mentality, the victim clause, and the victim card: how a person sees the world, how they defend that view, and how they shut the conversation down.
- Why guilt can lead you out, while shame keeps you stuck.
- The three ways people keep score, and the one that can’t be settled.
- The difference between being harmed and being a victim.
- Why an ultimatum is a response to a threat, not a threat itself.
- Where your partner really stands when life puts you on trial: at your side, stepped back, behind the other side, or at the other table all along.
- How the pattern passes from parents to children, and how one person in the chain can end it.
- Seven plain steps back to self-respect.
With self-respect, you can be harmed, but you can’t be a victim.
Paperback $19.95 · Hardcover $26.95
Hardcover coming soon.
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BOOK 3 · COMING SOON
Relational Mechanics at Work
The same mechanics, inside a company: why a standard nobody enforces costs more than no standard at all, why fear-based cultures lose good people even when the numbers look fine, and how culture and mentoring work as a one-two punch.
Organizations interested in licensing the framework for their own training programs can reach out through the contact form.
