A three-book series
Relational Mechanics Is The Answer.
Experts have long called self-respect the answer to successful relationships. P. Douglas Lane built Relational Mechanics, and it solved how to get there.
P. Douglas Lane
Author and inventor of Relational Mechanics
1,000+
workplace conflict-resolution sessions
25 years
of leading people in business
3 books
one framework, from home to work
The shift
Two different questions
Self-esteem asks how you feel about yourself, and it gets its answer from other people. Self-respect asks what you will stand for, and only you can answer it.
The core idea
Respect, Fear, and Absence
Respect
What you value, you protect
What you value, you protect with boundaries. Respect is the engine underneath, and value is the reading on the gauge.
Fear
What fills the space
Where respect isn’t present, fear fills the space. You can’t respect what you don’t first respect in yourself. You can only fear it.
Absence
What’s left
What’s left when fear fails to produce respect. It’s what happens once you’re no longer more afraid of losing someone than of losing yourself.
You don’t give respect, and you don’t demand it. You develop it.
P. Douglas Lane
The series
Three books, one framework
Book 1 · Available now
Relational Mechanics
How values and boundaries build a life of self-respect. The foundation of the series: respect, boundaries, and Adapt, Migrate, or Die.
Book 2 · Available now
We Love What We Value
From P. Douglas Lane, inventor of Relational Mechanics
He goes deeper, with bigger ideas and new tie-ins: why the victim can’t, and how learning self-respect overcomes it.
Book 3
Relational Mechanics at Work
P. Douglas Lane
Book 3 · Coming soon
Relational Mechanics at Work
The same mechanics inside teams and companies: Standards, Mentoring, and a culture that holds.
Who it’s for
One framework, three places it works
Individuals and families
Peace at home starts with self-respect
For anyone rebuilding a marriage, restoring order in a household, or tired of apologizing for wanting a peaceful life.
Business and leadership
Relational Mechanics at Work
Lane’s Approach to Business Structure: Mentoring and Culture that build a more efficient, profitable company.
Therapists and counselors
Plain words for the work you already do
Clear terms your clients can carry between sessions, with white papers and a full glossary.
“Respect for anyone else begins with how you value yourself.”
Meet the author
P. Douglas Lane
P. Douglas Lane is the author and inventor of Relational Mechanics. Looking back, he saw that his happiest and most successful years were built on respect, and his lowest years ran on self-esteem. That realization is where Relational Mechanics was born.
Over the years, he stepped into more than a thousand high-stakes confrontations across business, coaching, and family life, first as a corporate executive, then as a small business owner, and for more than three decades as a youth sports coach.
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